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THE VILLAGE 
PHOTOGRAPHER 

By 
Artliur L. Rice 





'"'! i 



^S.^enison & Company 

n^ublishers • Chicago 



^ 

iil||j|||!i;i:';lj'i'!l,!,:i'';l! 



Price, 30 Cents 



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T.S.DENiSON& COMPANY, Publishers, 623S.Wabn5;h^vp Chicago 



THE 

Village Photographer 

AN ENTERTAINMENT IN ONE ACT 

BY 

ARTHUR L. RICE 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 



The Village Photographer 

CHARACTERS. ^'^^ ^A^^ 
(As they appear.) J>^ 

Silas Stone TJic Village Photographer 

Martha Selby A Young Mother 

Zeph Barker A Crusty "Old Bach" 

Grandma Tyler i ,r • 7 

Grandpa Tyler \ ^'/O' Years Married 

Mrs. Kell A Giddy Widow 

Pa Sanders A Proud Daddy 

Ma Sanders Equally Proud 

Kitty Sanders V 

Jimmy Sanders ^ . .Why Pa and Ma arc Proud 

Buddy Sanders ) 

Jerry Dover The Tozvn Loafer 

Ray Moon . . . .A Happy Bridegroom 

Honey Moon His BliisJiing Bride 

Sally Harms A Would-be Movie Star 

Olivia Oldham "Twenty-four Today" 

Zeke Haytop A Bashful Partner 

Little Billy Stone The Photographer's Youngster 



Scene — The Village Photographer' s'^Studio. 



Place — Horneville. 



Time of Playing — About Forty-five Minutes. 



copyright, 1921, by ARTHUR L. RICE 



OCT 22 lbi^i-2 ■■ 

©CI.0 58952 



'v^ffe / 



THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 



TYPES AND COSTUMES. 

(Where special costume is not mentioned, the player 
wears clothing characteristic of what is worn by the people 
in any small town.) 

Silas Stone — Middle-aged and slightly stoop-shouldered, 
dignified but always friendly and sympathetic. Is neatly 
but shabbily dressed in a dark suit, well worn. 

Martha Selby — A well-dressed yoimg woman carrying 
a baby, the latter to be a large doll or any large bundle 
wrapped in a shawl to give the desired effect. She is pale 
and unhappy looking when she enters, but quite cheered up 
when she leaves. 

Zepii Barker — Middle-aged man, with crusty manner 
and hard-set face until Silas betrays him into smiling and 
revealing his goodness of heart. Rather "dressed up." 

Grandma and Grandpa Tyler — An old but happy 
couple, jolly and spry. Old-fashioned costumes. 

Mrs. Kell — Middle-aged, affected and excitable, not 
very refined. Somewhat brilliantly overdressed. 

Ma and Pa Sanders — Rather young middle-aged couple, 
radiating happiness and contentment. 

Kitty, JfMMY and Buddy Sanders — Children, aged 
about fourteen, nine and five respectively. (If necessary, 
these can be easily changed to suit talent at hand.) 

Jerry Dover — A lazy, conceited young fellow. Sporty 
suit with flashy tie and socks. 

Ray Moon — Young man, wears new suit; flower in but- 
tonhole ; gloves. 

Honey Moon — Pretty girl, aged about twenty. Wears 
wedding gown and veil and carries bouquet. 

Sally Harms — Pretty young girl, aged about sixteen. 
Wears hat and dress that she believes to be very "smart," 
and plenty of jewelry. Is noticeably painted and powdered. 
Carries a vanity box containing powder puff, etc. 



4 THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 

Miss Oldham — Typical comedy old maid, with cork- 
screw curls topped by a large comb ; old-fashioned dress of 
bright colors; white "mitts" with finger-tips cut ofif. 

Zeke Haytop — Bashful and awkward in manner. Wears 
"store suit" with heavy cowhide boots. Frequently mops 
his brow with big red bandana handkerchief. 

Little Billy Stone — The smallest child to be found 
who can learn the lines and carry the part. (If a little girl 
is used, this character may be programmed as "Little Susie 
Stone.") 

NOTES ON THE PRODUCTION. 

The Stage — Any platform may be used and only one 
exit is required. If the stage has no exits, a space on one 
side of the auditorium should be screened off large enough 
to conceal all the players and they should enter stage from 
behind the screen. The use of a front curtain to raise and 
lower is not essential. 

The Action — The action or "business" of the players is 
only suggested. They should strive at all times to appear 
natural and conduct themselves as real people would in 
a photograph studio. They hang their hats and wraps on 
the clothes tree and may examine the sample pictures, "fix 
up" in front of the mirror, show curiosity over the camera, 
etc. Each should avoid stiffness and try to imagine that 
he or she is really the type of person being impersonated. 
Posing for camera should always be arranged so that the 
subjects face the audience. The old photographer's solilo- 
quies are not addressed straight to the audience, but as 
though he were talking aloud to himself. 

Easily Produced — This play is well within the ability 
of any amateur cast. The players may rehearse in groups, 
and only one or two full rehearsals are necessary. Most of 
the parts are short and quickly learned. When staged by 
church societies, The Photographer is frequently played 
by the minister with great success. The audience will find 
this play thoroughly entertaining, and it has, besides the 



THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 5 

fun, a wholesome moral tone. It is entirely suitable for use 
HI any church. 

The Cast — The cast can easily be cut or altered to suit 
local conditions. The characters may be changed if the 
talent at hand makes it desirable. 

Specialties — Songs, musical readings or other special- 
ties can be added by slight changes in the lines to introduce 
them. Adapt these to your local cast. For specialty ma- 
terial, Grandpa Tyler might use "Old Time Wedding Day," 
a musical reading by Lytton Cox. Jimmie Sanders might 
use a selection from "Little Folks' Budget" or "Choice 
Pieces for Little People." A wealth of other good material 
is described in T. S. Denison & Company's complete cata- 
logue. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means right of stage ; C, center ; R. C, right center : 
L., left ; up stage, away from footlights ; down stage, near 
footlights. The actor is supposed to be facing the audience. 



THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 



Scene: The Village Photographers Studio. Down 
stage either R. or L., and pointing diagonally up stage, is 
a studio camera. {If this cannot he borrowed, a camera 
can be easily made imth a box to which is attached a piece 
of cardboard mailing tube, and all painted black. A piece 
of heavy cord hangs from it, zvith a sm-all rubber ball at- 
tached to the free end.) A dark focusing cloth is thrown 
over the camera. The camera is mounted on a tripod. A 
hall tree for hats and wraps stands near the door. Several 
chairs are placed out of range of the camera. A small table 
with sample photographs and a few babies' toys, a feather 
duster under the table, a bench for the family group a sign 
ontne wall, "Terms, Half Cash at Time of Sitting:' ami 
a fairly large mirror on the wall near the door, complete 
the necessary properties, though others may be add d at 
the discretion of the director. 

As the curtain rises the stage is empty. Silas enters 
removes his hat and coat and starts dusting his shop. 

SiLA|. Another day. At least that's what the calendar 
says. Every month I tear off another sheet and start all 
over again, but I declare, one day seems just like another 
o me. Maybe Abe Lmcoln was right. He said he guessed 
the Lord must have loved the common people for he made 
so many of them. But I wish he hadn't made them quite 
so common. What is there for me to see here in Home- 

H.vcP Ti "^^ \^^ ^""^'^ ^^y °^ "^y life-except Sun- 
days? They are different. Get up. eat breakfast, come 
to the shop, work all day, go home, eat supper, go to bed. 

^.vHVn T' '"''I ^ ?"". remember. Nobod; has stolen 
an> thing No one has had a fight. We haven't even had 
a uneral for over a year. (Sits musing.) And what shall 
1 do? The camera doesn't he, but the retouching brush can 
tell whoppers. Shall I tell the truth and get no thanks for 



THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 7 

it, or let art supplement nature and be really popular? Oh, 
well, I guess it doesn't matter much what one photogra- 
pher does. The Lord sees folks as they are, not according 
tO' the latest likeness sitting on the piano. If we foolish 
folks want to jolly ourselves into thinking we are right 
handsome I don't know as it worries Him a lot. { Takes 
opened letter from pocket.) That letter from brother Jim 
surely sounded interesting. Now if I were where he is— 
my, but there'd be lots to see and do. City streets just 
chock full of people running everywhere. Fifty people 
in the office where Jim works. Fifteen hundred people in 
that one office building — more than in all of Homeville. 
Gee, if I were there couldn't I do — {A knock at the door.) 
Come in ! 

Martha Selby enters, carrying her baby. 

Martha. Good morning, Mr. Stone. 

Silas. Good morning, Mrs. Selby. And what is that 
precious bundle you have? Bless my soul, is Sonny to sit 
for his first picture? How old is he, Martha? 

Martha. Just three months old today. But I declare, 
I feel three years older. He's such a care. 

Silas. Why, he looks to me like an uncommon nice lad- 
die ; good-natured, healthy ; almost as nice as Dorothy Bar- 
ker's baby. 

Martha (zvarmly). Well, I guess! There aren't any 
nicer babies. But he's such a wiggle. (Shakes the baby.) 
Be still, baby, or you'll wear your mother out. 

Silas. Now how did you calculate to have him snapped, 
Martha ? 

Martha. How will this do? (Sits, holding baby on 
knee aivay from herself.) Now sit still a minute. 

Silas (preparing camera). Any way you like it, Martha. 
Seen Joe Tabor's little mite lately? She doesn't bother 
'em much about kicking around, not since she had the fever 
and was well nigh paralyzed these three years. Never can 
walk and run like the others. 

Martha (sqtteerjes baby close io her). 

Silas (going to table). Martha, you should see the pic- 



8 THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 

ture I took of Mrs. Jackson and her baby. Here it is. Now 
isn't that a sweet face ? And see those curls. Picture 
wasn't retouched a mite, either. (Martha remoz'es baby's 
hood.) Why, hello! We have some curls, too, haven't we? 

Martha (zmfh something of pride). He's a cute little 
fellow. But you know, Mr. Stone, I've always had such 
a good time, and I miss the parties we used to have with 
"he old crowd. Seems like I never was so tied down. 

Silas (again busy with camera). Didn't you help your 
mother, Martha, when ou were at home? There was 
quite a little family to c .re for there. 

Martha. Yes, but mother wouldn't let me stay when 
there was anything going on. She would say, "Run along, 
girlie, have a good time while you're young," and I surelv 
did. 

Silas (musing). Your mother was a good woman. And 
when I heard that you and Dave were keeping company, 
I said to myself, Dave's getting a good wife and mother 
for his children. (Suddenly.) But here I'm talking away 
as though you just came in for a pleasant visit. Let's get 
this picture taken. (She assumes motherly pose.) Couldn't 
be better. Hey there, look over here, little fellow. (Snaps 
his fingers.) What's his name, Martha? 

Martha. David, after his father. 

Silas. Here, David, how can we get a happy family 
picture when you won't look? (Uses whistle, hell, etc., then 
squeezes the ball.) There, that's done. 

Martha. How soon can I have the proofs? You know 
Dave's folks are in California and have never seen their 
only grandchild, so they are in a hurry. 

Silas (qui.':;cically). Sure no one else is in a hurry? 

Martha. \A'ell, yes, that foolish father is — and maybe 
I am, too. 

Silas. Yes, Martha. Many's the time you'll look at his 
picture in the years to come, and maybe you'll wish for 
the day when he was squirming around in your arms instead 
of away playing his part in life. (Change of tone.) I'll 
have the proofs tomorrow. Remember me to your mother. 



THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 9 

Martha. Yes, Mr. Stone. And I'm going to try to 
remember her a little more myself — for the sake of my 
baby. Thank you. 

Silas (embarrassed). Not at all, Martha, not at all. 
It's all in the day's work. Come tomorrow for those proofs. 
Goodbye. {Exit Martha.) 

Silas. Isn't that cantankerous human nature for you? 
Most tired to pieces of that little bit of sunshine, when 
there's many a pair of arms just aching to hold a baby. 
Well, she's young, and she loves her man, and her little 
man, too, though she .fusses at him. She'll come out all 
right. 

Enter Zeph Barker. His face is hard set and his man- 
ner is crusty. 

Silas (cheerfully). Hello, Zeph Barker. How are you 
today ? 

Zeph. Fair enough, I guess. 

Silas. Why, you're all dolled up like a peacock. What's 
the idea? {Play fully.) Going to make some girl happy? 
'Fess up. 

Zeph. When you see peach trees full of birds and blos- 
soms on the thirty-fifth day of January, you can begin 
to dust off your best duds to wear at my wedding. Don't 
get excited. 

Silas {laugJiing). We have to have our fun, Zeph. Did 
you hear what that little Stearns youngster asked his 
mother ? 

Zeph. No, what was that? 

Silas. He said, "Mother, what did God make bachelors 
for?" She answered that God wasn't to blame; that bache- 
lors made themselves what they are. Then he said, "I'm 
glad, mother, for I would hate to blame all that onto God." 

Zeph {testily). They all pick onto us bachelors — 
bachelors and mother-in-laws. I don't know which I'd 
rather be — that is — (confused) I mean — you know — well, 
if I was to have my choice I wouldn't know which to 
choose — (starts to smile) providing, of course, that I could 
be— 



10 THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 

Silas (laughing). That's all right, Zeph. I understand 
perfectly. Now, was there something you wanted with me ? 

Zeph (face sets). Yes, I've got to have my face shot. 

Silas. Well, limber it up a little or I couldn't make a 
dent in it with a musket. 

Zeph. All tommyrot, a man of my age getting his pic- 
ture taken! But sister Alice just dings away and won't 
give me no rest until I do. 'Tarnal nuisance, I say ! Pity 
a man can't do as he pleases in a free country ! 

Silas (looking at Zeph). Maybe you'd like to go to 
Russia, Zeph. Everyone seems to do whatever he pleases 
and whomever he pleases over there. You wouldn't even 
need to get a shave or a haircut. Still, there's folks in this 
country, and even in this township, who have no one on 
earth to bother 'em. Been out past the Old Folks' Home 
lately, Zeph ? There's old Tim W'allen — not a soul this side 
of heaven to bother him and make him get his picture 
taken. And there's — 

Zeppi (nervously). Quit it! That home gives me the 
creeps. I always sail by as fast as I can, so I won't see 
those folks with no one to care for 'em. Oh, I may be there 
some day all right, but Alice says not while she has a home 
for me to share. 

Silas (casually). She isn't a bad sister, then? 

Zeph (emphatically) . Not that anyone knows of. Why, 
she almost turned down that man of hers, as good a man 
as ever breathed, 'cause she said she was goin' to keep 
house for me. In fact, she wouldn't marry him until I 
promised I'd come to her if ever I needed a home. Wouldn't 
call that bad, would you? 

Silas (shrewdly). How about those youngsters of hers? 
Don't amount to much, do they? 

Z^pu (quickly) . You look here, Silas Stone, those kids 
are all right, if they are my nephews — and mischievous, drat 
'em. (Smiles.) I didn't have a minute's peace while I was 
there. It's really the kids that want Uncle Zeph's picture, 
Alice says. Well, whenever you are ready, shoot. (Face 
sets.) 



THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 11 

Silas. Just a minute, Zeph. The kids are mischievous, 
are they? (Goes to camera and zvatches Zeph.) 

Zeph. That's no name for it. A girl friend of AHce's 
called, while I was there. Alice was dressing so I went 
into the parlor to be sociable. And do you know, those 
rascals locked us in and ran ofif with the key. They had 
heard Alice say I might love a girl if I'd look at her twice, 
and this lady being a favorite of theirs — and they sort of 
liking me — they were trying to make a match. (Sits in 
smiling thought as Silas takes picture.) Cute little rascals 
they sure are. 

Silas. Well, that's done now, Zeph, and it didn't sour 
your sweet disposition, did it? 

Zeph (annoyed). What? You haven't taken me? I 
wasn't ready. Now you can try it. (Sets self in old 
grouchy pose.) 

Silas. Show's over. You can see the star bachelor's 
picture the next time you are in. 

Zeph (eagerly). This afternoon? 

Silas (smiling). Well, hardly that soon. That friend 
of Alice's can wait a day longer, can't she? You can see 
the proofs tomorrow, send her one for Christmas, and get 
married by New Year if you like. 

Zeph. Oh, you go 'long! (Exit in manifest confusion.) 

Silas (arranging camera). Good old scout, Zeph is, if 
he is like a tree ; a rough bark outside but sound and good 
at heart. I'm going to insist that he keep one of his own 
pictures for a pattern of that rare old smile of his. He's 
most forgotten how, but if he were to look at this picture 
every day it might make him young again. 

Enter Grandma and Grandpa Tyler, hand-in-hand. 

Silas. Why, Grandma and Grandpa Tyler. You surely 
are looking fine today — and dressed up. Going to the city, 
are you ? Sit down and rest yourselves. 

Grandma (sitting). We are a bit tired, thank you, Silas. 
W'e're not so spry as fifty years ago when we jined hands — 

Grandpa (sitting by her). And put our heads into the 
noose. 



12 THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 

Grandma. Now you quit your cutting up. Pa Tyler. 
Goodness knows you didn't have to endure it fifty years if 
you didn't want to. 

Grandpa. Fifty years? You're foolin' me, Matilda. It 
was — let's see — day before — week before — year ago Christ- 
mas. Grant was our president then, the same great gen- 
eral I followed through the Wilderness campaign of the 
Civil War. The Union Pacific Railroad was finished the 
year before. Remember we thought it was rather risky 
to ride on the cars, so we drove our wagon from Indiana 
way out west to Nebraska ? Were you ever sorry you went, 
Matilda ? 

Grandma (faking Jiis hand). Not once, Henry, for 
you've been a good husband. 

Grandpa (zvarmly). Not as good as you've been a wife. 

Silas. Here, now, no quarreling on your golden wed- 
ding anniversary, even if it is over which one is the best. 
Let's get arranged here. (Seats them side by side and goes 
to camera to focus. Grandpa puts arm around Grandma.) 
None of that spooning. This camera has only one eye, 
but it is" a good one. I don't need to tell you to look happy. 
Just look natural. (Someone off stage sings an old song 
such as "John Anderson, My Jo," ivliile Silas takes pic- 
ture.) That's fine. I'll surely want to keep one of these 
for my sample lot. There's many a sermon preached with- 
out a word. Maybe it'll do some younger folks good to see 
smiles after a half century of teamwork. 

Grandpa. Silas, would you mind — not telling about this? 
We sort of sneaked away today — and — Christmas is com- 
ing, you know. (Gets up.) 

Silas. Surely I do know. And I know just how pleased 
some children and grandchildren will be to have such a 
treasure as a golden wedding picture. Trust me. I'll not 
tell anyone — except those who won't tell. 

Grandma (rising). That's right, Silas. No secrets from 
your wife. Share everything. That's been our plan for 
fifty years — 



THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 13 

Grandpa. And will be while there's another to share 
with. 

{The old couple, siepping proudly, exit to tune of zved- 
ding march.) 

Silas {at door, calling after them). Goodbye, folks. I'll 
have your proofs for you. {Returning tozvard camera.) 
Fifty years. God is good to some folks to let them live to- 
gether so long. Yes, and good to others that they don't 
have to spend such a long term together. 

Mrs. Kell enters, with affected zmlk, and seats herself. 
She has a paper in her hand. 

Mrs. Kell. Howdy do, Mr. Stone. Are you taking pic- 
lures these days ? 

Silas. That's my business, Mrs. Kell. Can I do some- 
thing for you ? 

Mrs. K. You take real good pictures, don't you? I 
mean real stylish and handsome. 

Silas. Well, I try to. But sometimes I have a hard 
time. Depends a little bit on the subject, you know. 

Mrs. K. Yes, of course. That would make a little dif- 
ference. 

Silas. If you wish, you may sit for your picture, but 
I can't guarantee that you'll like it. Sit here, please. 
{Places a chair in front of camera.) 

Mrs. K. I believe I'd rather stand. I think a woman 
looks so much more queenly and dignified when she stands. 
{Pauses.) Mr. Stone, I don't know what to do. {Confi- 
dentially.) You know someone — I haven't the slightest idea 
who — sent me a copy of the "Marriage Bell." {Shows pa- 
per.) You know that's where lonely people like myself — 
tell one another, you know — how they feel about matri- 
mony. 

Silas. Most of them seem favorable to it, don't they? 
{Fixes camera.) 

Mrs. K. Yes, to be sure. Of course that's the purpose 
of the paper, you know. It says on the front page {reads), 
"To Unite Lonely Hearts in Cupid's Fond Embrace." Isn't 
that a beautiful sentiment? Since my dear, dear husband 



14 THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 

(wipes eyes) got himself kicked by a mule — by tlie way, 
I have that mule yet. Do you know anyone who wants 
to buy one? Yes, he's perfectly gentle and a child can 
handle him just as well as a man. (Change of tone.) But 
I was saying since my husband left me I have been so lonely. 
The Bible says in plain words, Mr. Stone, "It is not good 
for man to be alone," and what's sauce for the goose is 
sauce for the gander. Not that men are geese — that is, not 
all men — but I do think a lonely woman is a pitiful sight. 

Silas (nmsing, zvith arm over camera). I've heard, 
though, of lonely folks who had lots of people around them. 
I always imagined that good Dolly Vance led a lonely life 
with that old soak of a husband she married to reform. 
•Guess she was lonelier with him there than when he was ofif 
on one of his tears. There's worse things in the world 
than being lonely, too. 

Mrs. K. Then deliver me from the worse things. 
There's one advertisement in the paper which seems so no- 
ble and true. (Reads.) "Man of forty-six, handsome, 
wealthy farmer, two thousand acres of land, fine home, 
automobile, wants to marry strong healthy woman who 
understands farm work. Send picture." Doesn't that 
sound appealing? 

Silas (kindly). Now if you want my honest opinion, 
Mrs. Kell, I'll give it. You'd best go mighty slow and 
careful. Investigate him. Inquire about him from his 
neighbors. The handsomest, wealthiest farmer, even if he 
had a whole flock of aeroplanes, might not be the man 
for you. 

Mrs. K. (jumps up, offended). Silas Stone, I won't 
have it ! I am not hard to get along with ! My sainted hus- 
band and I got on beautifully. Oh, you men know so 
much! I just won't have my picture taken. I won't. I 
zvon't! (Rushes out.) 

Silas (shaking his head). I hope she means it. Poor 
woman, she's just as apt as not to rush into what she'll 
live to regret. I hope she means it. 

The Five Sanders enter. 



THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 15 

The Five Sanders {together). Howdy do, Mr. Stone? 

Silas {throzvs hands up). I surrender. This army is 
too much for me to resist. What will you have? 

Buddy. I want my picture taken. 

Silas. You want your picture taken, do you? And how 
about all these other folk§? 

Kitty. We want all of us taken together. 

Silas. That's great. How did you want to be arranged? 

Ma. To be natural, I think that Daddy should be on 
his hands and knees with the whole pack of them hanging on 
in various places. 

Pa. And Mother bringing up the rear. No, sirree ! I 
have my best duds on today and I can't get down on the 
floor. 

Buddy. I have a new suit, too. 

Jimmy. Buddy knows a piece about his suit. 

Silas. Let's hear it. I like to hear little boys speak 
pieces. (The others take seats.) 

Buddy (stiffly). This suit of clothes so fine and stout, 
A woolly sheep once carried about. 

Silas (clapping his hands). Good! James, your little 
brother did so well, don't you know a piece you can say? 
(Buddy sits by his mother.) 

Jimmy (rising). Yes, I can if you want to hear oue. 

Silas. Go ahead. 

(Jimmy giz'cs a short humorous reading.) 

Silas (pats Jimmy's shoulder). Mrs. Sanders, I don't 
see how you keep so fresh and young with all your farm 
work and this little family to care for. 

Ma. It is hard sometimes. But I have help, you know. 
With the best husband in the world and three children to 
love me, you have no idea how much easier it is. Love 
does make the task so much lighter. 

Silas. These boys are so talented I think we ought to 
hear from their sister and their father. 

Pa. Not much! If the whole family took to spouting, 
what would you do for an audience ? I claim that we are 
the most ini])nrtant part of it all. 



16 THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 

Kitty. That's what I say. 

Silas. Well, I know you could do your part, too. But 
let's get set for that picture. {Places bench.) Now, all 
those who are happy come and sit on this bench {they all 
scurry to it), and all who are not come over here. {Steps 
aivay and turns in surprise.) Goodness sakes ! Looks like 
we are all happy. Kitty, why are you happy ? 

Kitty {puts arm around mother's neck). Because I 
have the best mother in the world. 

Silas. Jimmy, what makes you happy? 

Jimmy {stands close to father). There isn't another 
boy's dad I'd swap for mine. 

Silas. How about you. Buddy Sanders? Why are you 
happy? 

Buddy {standing on bench between parents and putting 
arm about each.) I love Daddy and Mamma. 

Silas {enthusiastically) . I believe that is about as goo I 
a group as I could arrange. Sit as you are. Everybody 
happy? {Business.) That's over. The happy family grouji 
is taken. Come in again. {They prepare to go.) 

Buddy. I'll come and speak another piece when I'm a 
big boy. 

Silas. You do it, and when your Daddy grows up and 
gets old bring him back again. 

Pa. Not for some time. I'm going to stay young with 

my children. , c- •. -r tt c ^ 

(Exit The Five Sanders.) 

Silas {softly whistling "Home Szveet Home," zvhen there 
is a knock at door). Come in. you don't have to knock. 

Jerry Dover enters. 

Silas. Oh, hello, Jerry, didn't you see it said "Come In" 
on the door? 

Jerry. Yes, but I thought you might have changed your 
mind. That's been on there for ten years. 

.Silas. So it has. But I mean it yet. What's on your 
mind? 

Jerry. Nothing much. 



THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 17 

Silas. That's a surprisingly frank statement. Haven't 
you been learning anything in school lately ? 

Jerry. Me? In school? Not for four years past. 

Silas. I'd forgotten that you graduated in 19 — , Jerry. 

Jerry. No, it wasn't just that way. You see the teach- 
ers all took a spite on me, and Maw needed me, so I jest 
called my eddication done. 

Silas. Mother needed you ; that's right. I always ad- 
mire one who sacrifices his own desire to help his parents, 
I'm glad to know you're helping your mother. 

Jerry, I kinda wanted to have my picture taken, one 
of those great big ones to set on the mantel. 

Silas. You know those large ones come high. 

Jerry. That's all right. Nothing is too good for me. It's 
the large one I want. 

Silas. Help me move this settee. (They move bench 
used in group scene.) Why, you're puffing. 

Jerry. My — my heart isn't very strong. 

Silas. I see. How about your arm? {Feels it.) Not 
very strong, either. But I suppose your mother's work is 
easy and it doesn't develop much muscle. Carrying water 
and rubliing clothes is a soft snap. {Places chair.) Now 
sit here. (Jerry sits and poses grandly.) No, not like a 
multimillionaire. Leave a little of the world for someone 
else to own. (Jerry droops.) No. you're not a mouse, 
either. You're just Jerry Dover, and when you get natural 
I'll shoot. (Jerry takes an easy, someivhat sleepy posture.) 
There, that's good. (Takes picture.) 

Jerry (rising hastily). You can charge this to Maw. 

Silas, What's that? 

Jerry. I say you can charge this picture to Maw. You 
won't need to pay her any more for the washing until this 
is settled for. (Starting to go.) 

Silas (hurries to door, intercepting Jerry). Now. Jerry, 
you and I are going to have an understanding. Did you 
mean to tell me that you were going to let your mother 
wash clothes to pay for your picture? 

Jerry (alarmed). No, no, Mr. Stone; of course not. I 



18 THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 

was just joking, you know me. (Tries to laugh.) What I 
meant to say was that^ — er — I haven't the money now — but 
rU pay you as soon as I get it. 

Silas. The terms (points to sign) are one-half cash at 
the time of the sitting, and I'm going to stick to them. I 
suppose I might keep your coat for security — or your shoes. 

Jerry (whining). Please, Mr. Stone — I'll get a job just 
as soon as I can and pay you. 

Silas. All right. You have a job right now. You know 
where my woodpile is. The saw and axe are right there. 
I'll expect you to have that pile done by tomorrow night. 
All done, mind you. • 

Jerry. I don't know whether I can stand it. My heart, 
you know — isn't — 

Silas. Your heart will get a worse shock if you fall 
down. My, wouldn't the boys like to know this? It would 
look fine written up in the paper ! You'd better get at it. 
The day's well along. 

Jerry. Yes, sir. Goodbye, Mr. Stone. And — you won't 
tell anyone, will you? (Exit.) 

Silas. He can have the picture, all right. But he's go- 
ing to think he is working for it. I'll give his mother the 
money. She needs it, poor soul. 

Enter Ray Moon and Honey Moon. 

Silas. Hello, Ray and Honey. Hmmm. Seems like 
there's something special doing today. 

Ray. All done, Mr. Stone. The preacher just got 
.through tying the knot. 

Silas. Congratulations, then, and best wishes for your 
happiness. But I wouldn't say all done. I'd say just be- 
gun. The two roads have met and now there's just one^ 
better than either — better than both — and stretching on and 
on, over the hills and through the valleys — one road to the 
end. 

Honey. That's a long, long time, isn't it? 

Silas. It's the longest, shortest time that ever was. The 
longer you live together, the shorter the years will seem. 



THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 19 

Ray. Well, I'm sure I can stand it if she can, and I 
guess she ought to know. I've been at her home steady 
enough the last year. Think I'll accomplish more, now 
that I don't have to run back and forth from one home to 
another. 

Silas. Now, what sort of a wedding picture were you 
wanting ? 

Honey. Oh, a regular wedding picture. 

Ray. Yes. with Honey standing behind me with her 
hand on m}-- shoulder. (They take this pose.) 

Honey {pucdcd). But I thought it was the other way. 
Isn't it the bride who sits and the groom who stands ? 
(They exchange places.) 

Silas. Now, see here, children, I'm going to tell you 
something. My suggestion is that you stand together, for 
your picture now and for your whole life of work. 'Cause 
see here, this is a double-harness affair. Can you imagine 
a team pulling much if one horse were to sit down while 
the other stood? Be kind of hard to harness him or pull 
anything, wouldn't it? Now stand there. (They stand 
apart.) You might close up a little more. Probably neither 
one is poison, and that sunshine between you won't look 
like much in a picture. (They come closer, but remain very 
serious.) This isn't an infernal machine, Ray. It's perfectly 
harmless. (Playfully blozvs whistle.) Smile, little girl and 
boy. You look almost like you believe what the old bache- 
lor said at the wedding. Everyone was crowding around 
to congratulate the couple and one enthusiastic friend said, 
"Now you have come to the end of all your troubles." 
"Yes," the bachelor said, "but which end?" 

Ray (laughing). Not I, Mr. Stone. I guess I was just 
so happy I was almost sad. If troubles should come there 
are two of us to meet them now. Go ahead with your 
picture. 

Silas (faking picture). I don't need to ask you the 
questions the minister asked, for I can see the answers 
on your faces. There, that's all, preserved for coming gen- 
erations. (They go tozvard door.) You are a fine young 



20 THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 

team and I am sure you are going to pull together splen- 
didly. 

Honey. Indeed we will. We are partners in every- 
thing, aren't we Ray? 

Ray. Right you are. (Ray and Honey exit happily, 
arm-in-arm.) 

Silas {calling to them). That's fine. You are on the 
happy road, folks. Stay on it. {To himself, when they 
have gone.) Sometimes I think there's a heap of rotten- 
ness in the world, and I fear maybe it's getting worse. But 
then I see such a blessed ray of sunshine as this. Then I 
know that the world is made new in young lives. As long 
as love, purity, faith and truth shine in young eyes I know 
the world will keep on turning upward to its goal. 

Enter Sally Harms. 

Sally. How do you do, Mr. Stone. 

Silas {turns and sees her). I'm very well, thank you. 
But I can't just recall your name. 

Sally. I'm Sally Harms, Joel Harms's daughter. 

Silas. Yes, to be sure. But she was a little girl the 
last I knew of her. Here she's grown up over night. 

Sally. I'm almost sixteen, if you please. 

Silas. Yes, surely. And that's getting up in years. 

Sally. I want my picture taken. (Silas looks at her, 
saying nothing.) I said I want my picture taken! 

Silas. Yes, I see. You want your picture taken. 

Sally. That's what I said. I don't see why you are 
looking that way at me. {Opens i-onity bag, looks in mir- 
ror, pozvdcrs nose, etc.) 

Silas. I was just wondering, Sally, if it would be you 
I photographed if I took you as you are. Seems to me 
there's more black and white and red than white folks 
.usually show. Of course, the Indians — 

Sally {impatiently). Oh, you old folks don't know. 
All the up-to-date ladies paint and powder and fix up. 

Silas (reminiscently). Hmmm. Ever read your Bible 
much, Sally? Of course I know you have, some. You jvist 
ought to read what sort of women there were in Isaiah's 



THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 21 

time. That's some years ago, mind you, way before the time 
of Christ. In the last part of the third chapter he calls the 
roll. And, talk about up-to-date people, they had aids to 
beauty we never dream of ; nose rings and ankle chains, 
to say nothing of the shawls and veils and hand mirrors 
and perfume boxes. That's the ancestor of the powder 
puff, I guess. They had considerable of helps. But I 
don't recall any of their names in the book of fame. Seems 
10 me it's you who are old-fashioned, Sally, following that 
bunch that Isaiah called down twenty-six hundred years 
ago. (Change to matter of fact tone.) There's a mirror 
in the corner, Sally, if you care to fix up — or unfix a bit. 
{She goes and wipes paint off.) That's more like a real, 
honest, lovely girl. Do you know, Sally, God makes our 
faces sort of transparent. Folks can see through and see 
us there ; what we really are. But when you cover it all 
up you're just like dolls on a shelf. Take your choice. 
There's no difference, for they all got their color out of the 
same paint bucket. Real folks are different and don't you 
be ashamed of it. Just be you, the best you know, that's all. 

Sally (takes seat for picture). 'Do you know much 
about the city? 

Silas. Not a lot. But Jim writes me about it now and 
then. It makes Homeville seem pretty slow, I admit. 

Sally (eagerly). That's just the way I feel! I'm so 
cramped here ; see nothing ; have no opportunities to show 
what I can do. I have been told I can act. (Rises.) And 
vou know how much money actors get — the fine clothes 
they wear — the beautiful hotels where they live. 

Silas. Are you practicing any? What can you do? 

Sally (recites, much too dramatically) — 

Oh, gentle Romeo, 

If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully ! 

Or, if thou think'st I am too quickly won, 

I'll frown, and be perverse, and say thee nay, 

But else, not for the world. 

(Sits again.) Then there's always the movies one can try. 



22 THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 

I've been told that (popular film star) would be jealous 

of me ; but maybe he was trying to kid me. 

Silas. Who is — this — "he" person? 

Sally. Oh, I didn't mean to tell you. (Hesitates.) It's 
Mr. Dewey's nephew, who is visiting him. He lives in the 
city, you know, and he's told me such wonderful stories of 
city life. 

Silas (quizzically). If he's so stuck on it I don't see 
why he pesters us out here every few months. 

Sally. He's very fond of his uncle. 

Silas. I'm sure of that ; just as fond as his uncle's pigs 
at feeding time — and for the same reason. 

Sally. You don't know him, Mr. Stone. He's good at 
heart. Why, he's going to help me get started, you know. 

Silas (sharply). What's that? 

Sally. I'm planning to go to the city and he's to help 
me find work. 

Silas (seriously). Sally, did you ever see me get real 
mad? Probably not, but I'm almost there now. (Emphat- 
ically.) That fellow is no good! And if he ever puts hands 
on you I'll put hands and feet both on him. (Tenderly.) 
Sally, you have missed a lot of mothering since your dear 
mother went to her reward. Your daddy has done his best. 
But fathers aren't mothers, the best they can do. The city 
is no place for a girl alone. It's a hard life. The big jobs 
have a hundred girls after them. There are dangers far 
worse than death — wolves who wear the finest of clothes. 
Stay here, Sally. Your father needs you. He will give 
you a good home until some straight, honest boy takes you 
to start another home. The moths fly to the flame, Sally. 
But they die. Stay here. 

Sally (crying). I guess you are right, Mr. Stone. I 
won't go unless I tell you. (Starting to go.) And I'm not 
very pretty for my picture now. I'll have to come back 
some other day. 

Silas. You do it, Sally. And if there is anything I can 
do for you — ever — you just come and tell me. 

Sally. Goodbye, and thank you. (E.vit.) 



THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 23 

Silas (calls after her). Goodbye. [To himself.) I'll 
just keep my eye on that young puppy, and if he bothers 
her any more I'll use a little moral suasion on him. 
(Doubles fists and strikes at imaginary foe, as — ) 

Miss Oldham enters. 

Miss Oldham. Why, what are you doing, Mr. Stone? 

Silas (confused, changes movements to physical culture 
arm exercises). I was just having a few exercises — calis- 
thenics, you know. They are splendid to keep one toned 
up and young. 

Miss O. Is that possible? How do you do them? 

Silas. There are lots of different ones. This one 
(bends head in circle) will keep your neck loosened up. 
(She imitates.) This is good for the digestion. (Begins 
to tzvist at ivaist, hands on liips. She imitates.) No, better 
not do it with your street clothes on. You might come 
apart. 

Miss O. And which did you say were to keep one 
young ? 

Silas. They all have that efTtect. (Puffs.) I'm about 
winded. I don't do them often enough for my own good. 

Miss O. One has to do them often, then, to do any 
good ? 

Silas. Oh, yes. To keep young one should spend — oh, 
say about five hours a day at it. 

Miss O. How silly. I don't believe it, anyhow. But 
if I ever should feel that I were growing old I will come 
to you for instructions. 

Silas. Did you want a photograph. Miss Oldham? 

Miss O. Yes, this is my twenty-fourth birthday and I 
desire to have my likeness photographed. (Goes to glass 
to primp.) 

Silas (aside, going to camera). No, she doesn't. I'll 
get my hair pulled if I don't photograph her zndikencss. 

Miss O. (scats herself). How will this do? 

Silas. Now, don't tilt your head so. (He fixes her in 
position.) Just be natural, this way. Now are we ready? 



24 THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 

(Returns to camera. She moves and fusses ivith clothes.) 
You are out of position. {Fixes position again, and hurries 
back to camera.) Just a minute, now. (She re-arranges 
hair.) Now once more, if you please. (He again fixes posi- 
tion.) Let's get it this time. (Goes back to camera.) 
Ready? (He is about to take picture when — ) 

Zeke Haytop enters. 

Miss O. (rises and bows). Good afternoon, Mr. Haytop. 
Isn't this a perfectly lovely fall day? Makes me feel years 
younger — that is — years younger — than I would be if I 
were older. 

Zeke. It's all right, I guess. But I've got chilblains so 
dad burned bad that I ain't in shape to appreciate the 
weather. 

Silas. Figuring on having the chilblains taken, were 
you, Zeke ? 

Zeke. I'd sure give a nickel if your old camera would 
take 'em. I don't want 'em. (He stands, Miss Oldham 
ogles. He drops eyes and shifts feet.) 

Silas. Shall we proceed with the sitting, Miss Oldham? 
Mr. Haytop will excuse us if we ignore him for the time. 

Zeke (heartily). Yes, yes, by all means. Please ignore 
me. (Miss Oldham smiles sweetly and turns to camera. 
Zeke sighs deeply.) 

Silas. Now let's get that lovely pose again. (Fixes pose 
and rushes back to camera.) 

Miss O. (turns to Zeke). By the way, Mr. Haytop. 
are all your folks well ? Your dear mother and father, are 
they enjoying good health? And your sweet brothers and 
sisters, I trust that they too are healthy. 

Zeke. Paw's got boils and he ain't enjoyin' them much, 
but 'side from that we're all enjoyin' what we got. (She 
smiles. Zeke is nervous.) 

Miss O. Here we are keeping Mr. Stone waiting while 
we have our delightful little chat. (Gushingly.) You'll for- 
give us, won't you, Mr. Stone ? 

Silas. Sure. I'm married and I'm used to being neg- 



THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 25 

lected by the young members of the fair sex. Now please 
get your pose. {Fixes pose and runs to camera. She turns 
to Zeke and smiles. Silas tears his hair.) Come here, Zeke. 
I've got to get some attraction behind the camera. (Leads 
Zeke to place beside himself.) You can be the Httle birdie, 
whistle and bell altogether. (She smiles. Silas takes pic- 
ture.) There, that's done. (IVipes forehead ivitJi handker- 
chief. Zeke docs the same.) 

Miss O. You have been so perfectly lovely to wait for 
me, Mr. Haytop, that I'll return the compliment by wait- 
ing for you. Possibly you might be going in my direc- 
tion. 

Zeke. Why — no — I— er — was figuring on going home 
the lower road. 

Miss O. That would be fine. I haven't been through 
the woods for so long. They're so romantic, don't you 
think ? 

Zeke (scared). Yes'm. But — really — it may take quite 
a long time for my picture. I've got to get fixed up a lot. 

Miss O. (smiling). I'll wait, thank you. 

Silas. The glass is in the corner, Zeke, if you want to 
fix your hair. (Zeke goes to glass, zvatcJies her furtively 
and sneaks out door, leaving hat behind.) All right, Zeke, 
i'm ready now. Why, where are you, Zeke? 

Miss O. (looking and jumping up). Gone? I'll get him 
yet. (Exi' in Jiastc.) 

CiLAS (sits zi'eanly). Such a day! Aren't people dififer- 
e'..t? Even false teeth have individuality, as Squire John- 
son discovered yesterday when he tried to wear his wife's. 
(Musing.) All different, but the same needs, the same 
heartaches, the same joys. I wonder what the Lord would 
have done in my photograph gallery today : Martha and 
her baby, Grandpa and Grandma Tyler, the widow Kell, 
Ray and Honey, Sally Harms — and even Miss Oldham. 
(Fervently.) God bless them all, deliver their feet from 
pitfalls, and make them his happy children. Jim may see 
more people in the city, but he doesn't know any more. 



26 THE VILLAGE PHOTOGRAPHER 

and I doubt if he gets to help as many. I hke those lines 

of Longfellow's "Village Blacksmith" : 

Toiling — rejoicing — sorrowing, onward through life he 

goes ; 
Each morning sees some task begun, each evening sees its 

close ; 
Something attempted, something done, has earned a- night's 

repose. 
{Sits in quiet fhoiiglit.) 

Little Billy Stone enters, steals to choir and throzvs 
Jiis arms around Silas. 

Billy. Daddy, aren't you ever coming home? Mamma 
has supper most ready and we have a surprise, for you. I 
love you, Daddy ! 

Silas (tenderly, putting his arm around the child). 
Bless my little boy. (Suddenly,, playful.) Home we go a- 
prancing. (Lifts Billy to his shoulder and takes coat and 
hat.) All aboard for the best home in Homeville! (Exit 
Silas with Billy.) 

Curtain. 



Deacon Dubbs 

By WALTER BEN HARE 

Price, 35 Cents 

A rural coined v-drama in 3 acts; 5 males, 5 females. Time, 
2^4 hours. One scene throughout, a farmyard, not difficult to set, 
A play of pathos, clean cut rural comedy, local color and a touch 
of sensation, making a truly great offering for amateurs It is 
professional-like in construction, yet easily within the scope of any 
amateur society. The types are true to life, not exaggerated cari- 
catures. The star role is a comedy old farmer, not the usual stage 
type of hayseed, but the real, genuine, kind lieartcd, wise old 
Deacon, a part as appealing in its way, as Uncle Josh Whitcomb, 
Nathaniel Berry or David Harum. The heroine. Rose Raleigh, 
the brave little school ma'am, is a strong, emotional part. A 
country boy and a Swede hired girl are great comedy parts; also 
a comedy old maid (almost a star part), tomboy soubrette. A 
finely drawn hero, character auctioneer, an excellent villain, etc. 
Tlie" characters are almost all equally good. A male cpiartet and 
a crowd of villagers will greatly add to tlie success of the play. 
A feature scene in each act: A country auction, a country wed- 
ding, a country husking bee. This play is a sure h't. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Rose Cottage on an afternoon in June. Yennie Yensen, 
the Swedisli hired girl, wants to borrow some yumps and decides to 
bid on the hired man at the auction, as "he bane a purty gude 
looking feller." Miss Philipena arranges for tlie auction sale. 
Ruse and Amos. "Out of the broken ruins of time fair blossoms 
grcjw, God's last amen is a white rose." The Deacon arrives from 
Sorghum Center, State o' West Virginny. "Ding, dong, bell, 
pussy's in the well." The farm is sold to Rose Raleigh for two 
thousand dollars. The defeat of Rawdon Crawley. 

Act II. — Same scene, a morning in August. Wedding bells. 
"Happy is the bride that the sun shines on." Deuteronomy and 
Yennie bring wedding presents. Miss Philipena takes a nap with 
disastrous results. Yennie is scared. "Your face, it bane put on 
backwards." Back from the grave. "You are my wife. Take 
off tliat bridal wreath, that sparkling necklace." "Who is this 
man?" The Deacon arrests Rawdon Crawley. 

Act ^11. — Same scene but a year later and in autumn. The 
husking bee. Songs and merriment by the villagers. "Rawdon 
Crawley has escaped!" "This is my punisliment and my pimish- 
ment is more than I can bear." The Deacon returns from New 
York. Miss Philipena and the fractious cow. The Deacon's night- 
mai'e. "Cork. cork, cork!" A wheelbarrow for two. Tlie Virginia 
reel. The deatli of Rawdon Crawley. "We'll have a doul>le w,ed- 
ding and for a lioneymoon we'll all go down to Sorgliuni Ci-nter, 
State o' West Virginny." 

Theip First Quarrel 

By CHARLES NEVERS HOLMES. 

Price, 25 Cents 

A comedy; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 15 minutes. A bit of glue, 
which has the anpearance of chewing gum, underneath the seat of 
a chair — and "that's how the trouble began." A subtle bit of humor 
that will surely please. Could be played in a parlor without scenery, 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers ^ 

623 S. Wabash Ave., CHICAGO 



The Spark of Life 

By HARRY L. NEWTON 

Price, 25 Cents 

Fantastic comedy in 3 acts; 4 males, 4 females. Time, 2 
lours. Scenes: 1 interior, 1 exterior. Characters: Herman 
Heinie, a German doll maker. Bud Barlow, a college youth. 
Tommy Tucker, the "darling child." Willard Peck, the mysterious 
stranger. Clarice, Bud's sweetheart. Toots Snodgrass, the house- 
maid. Mrs. Heinie, the old doll maker's second wife. Dora Mee. 
a neighbor's daughter, 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Herman Heinie, the eccentric doll maker of Happy 
Hollow, searching for the Spark of Life with which to put the 
breath of life into his Masterpiece. Toots the maid of all work, 
who is afraid of work but knows how to extract a tip. "Ain't 
he Just splen-did." Tlie Mephistophelian plot which brings the 
doll to life. Everybody happy but not for long. The mysterious 
stranger "I beg your pardon." The dream comes true, but — 

Act II. — In which Mrs. Heinie falls in loye with the devil, and 
the road of true love has many twists and turns. The mysterious 
stranger who will not "stay put." A new recipe for Angel Food, 
spoiled by too many cooks. The Masterpiece disappears. Sixes 
and sevens. "I'll paint my face and be a real lady," 

Act III. — "Everybody hates everybody they shouldn't and 
ever>body loves everybody they shouldn't." Bud, the cause of it 
all, as popular as an Indian with the smallpox. The deception dis- 
closed. Herman turns over a new leaf. "I bought a new pair of 
trousers yesterday and by golly I'm going to wear them from now 
on. Tlie worm turns, back to the kitchen where you belong. 
The fifty thousand dollar legacy sacrificed for love. A triple court- 
sliip. "All my life I've been searching for the Spark of Life and 
now at last I've found it — it's love, that's what it is. love." "Ain't 
he just splen-did." 

Happy School Days 

By JESSIE A, KELLEY 

Price, 30 Cents 

Humorous entertainment; 14 males, 11 females. Time, about 
i^/4 hours. Scene: Easy interior. The old school entertainment has 
long been a prime favorite with societies, churches, etc., as a sure 
means of raising money. This is a new phase and breaks away 
from the traditional setting — tlie little school at the village, or at 
the country cross-roads. It being more cosmopolitan, depicting 
the humorous trials of the city principal and the teachers of the 
various grades. Introduces impish and fun-craving youngsters 
of many nationalities; their parents with ridiculous complaints and 
absurd ideas of our school sj'stem; janitor, school physician, truany 
officer, etc. More characters could be easily introduced. Drills, 
recitations, etc., may be added according to talent. The comic 
effect will be decidedly enhanced if played by prominent or elderly 
people. 

Te S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

623 S« Wabash Ave., CHICAGO 



The Spell of the Ima^e 

By LINDSEY BARBEE 

Price, 35 Cents 

A comedy-drama in prologue and 3 acts; 10 males, 10 females 
Time, 214 hours. Scenes: 2 interiors. Characters in the Pro = 
logue: The host. His daughter. Her sweetheart. A rival. i-\ 
serving Kiaid. A gypsy. Dancers. Characters in the Play: Dun- 
bar, a young millionaire. Harlan, his friend. Ross, managing edi- 
tor of the Clarion. Mathews, business manager of the Clarion, 
Carter, a political candidate. Ted, an office boy. Terrence, an 
Irish gentleman. Phyllis, of modern tendencies. Carolyn, her 
closest friend. Fredericka, a reporter. Kitt.v, Phyllis' sister, 
secretly romantic. Belinda, a maid, also romantic. Two aunts, of 
opposing natures. 

SYNOPSIS 

Prologue. — The toast — "England and America." Phyllis pleads 
her cause with Ruperc — and the image mocks. The gypsy weaves 
an evil spell and roads what "is written in the stars." Phyllis 
offers tribute — and the pearls are hidden. "Our tryst is over." 
Act I.-— Kitty flaunts tradition and argues a business career 
before an unsympathetic audience. Carter proves an obstacle In 
the political career of MacDonald and John. Phyllis airs her 
views upon economic independence and tells MacDonald why she 
can't marry him. Kitty falls asleep — and is awakened by Ad- 
venture. "Faith and it's not a monkey-wrench to me— it's a 
key to the future." The telephone ring.s — and Phyllis goes to 
work on the. Clarion. 

Act II. — Fredericka lands a scoop— and prophesies failure for 
the Clarion. Loss of advertising and of popular favor does not 
daunt MacDonald. "I'm going to be a detectuff." P'redericka 
makes a proposition to Carter. Ted and Kitty, together, play 
"detectuff." "Your stocks are quite worthless, Mac." Adven- 
ture comes again to Kitty — and learns of his enemy. Terrence 
is about to tell his story — when the climax comes! 

Act III. — Terrence is generous — and Carter accepts the terms. 
"Don't its eyes seem to follow me — doesn't it seem alive?" Aunt 
Letitia, and Aunt Alice have a liA'ely tilt, with Phyllis as media- 
tor. Belinda slaps the image — and the pearls are found! Kitty 
follows Adventure "even to the end of the day." "Here's half 
the cost of a wedding ring!" 



Little Miss Enemy 

By HARRY L. NEWTON 

Price, 25 Cents 

A mobilization of mirth and melody: 1 male, 1 female. Time, 
15 minutes. A Palm Beach flirtation with military tactics. War 
declared; the enemy entrenched; strategy; the siege; the battle 
won only to find Little Miss Enemy his commanding officer. A 
3nappy bit of refined comedy. 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

623 S. Wabash Ave., CHICAGO 



The Lady of the Library 

By EDITH F. A. U. PAINTON 
Price, 35 Cents 

A delightful comedy-drama of village life in 3 acts; 5 males*., 
10 females. Time, 2 liours. Scene: Reading room of a publi., 
library; easily set. A most refined and lovable librarian of 60 
years, surprisingly youtliful in appearance and manner, plays tht 
leading role. Through her selection of literature the town ha.s 
been brouglit up to a high standard. Althougli sincerely in lovts 
with a certain judge, she has allowed tlie whims of others tc 
keep them apart for many years; liowever, tliey are finally \inited. 
Pearl, tlie pretty ingenue, a strong part. Bits of good comedy 
furnished by two typical old maids, a movie actress, newivweds 
and the "proprietor of the dust rag." A story that inspirf.rs the 
most pleasant thoughts and is bound to find its way to the heart 
of every audience. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act T. — Morning at the Library. A movie actress in ordinary 
role. "Miss Avis won't be an old maid when slie's a hundred." 
Burr warns Pearl against tlie fate of a spinster. Tlie missing 
book. Mrs. Nelson recalls old times. The new preacher feels 
called to set to riglits a few tilings. "Would you close the doors 
of knowledge to your four-footed brothers?" Mrs. Edgeworth 
exerts her authority. A startling insinuation. Avis unlocks the 
chambers of the past. "God be merciful to all who are born 
women!" 

Act II. — Mrs. Edgeworth on the war-path. Sam assumes the 
blame. "I'm the guy that put the sin in Cincinnati." 'The Judge's 
return takes everybody by surprise. The preaclier interviews 
Pearl and Susanne appeals for religious instruction. Mrs. Edge- 
worth's accusation is met by opposition. "If tliis was the Judg- 
ment Day and you were the Angel of Death itself, I could give 
no other answer!" "I would stake my very life on her honesty." 

Act III. — Sam gets poetic through literary association. The 
preacher hears the story of Pearl's origin. Avis resigns her 
position. The Judge liears of the pearl ring and finds tlie long- 
sought child. Mrs. Edgeworth's change of heart. "Of course 
the dear child was not at all to blame." The Judge reveals the 
mystery of the lost volume and Burr contributes his share to 
the revelation. Pearl speaks her mind. "I have nothing what- 
ever to say to Burr's mother." Mrs. Edgeworth rejoices. "I 
have always longed for a daughter." Susanne frightens the min- 
ister. "Go away, lady!" Avis receives and answers her letter at 
last. The Judge "considers their ages" and gets his "turn" at 
last. "Is it too late to find the minister?" 



At Harmony Junction 

By FREDERICK G. JOHNSON 

Price, 25 Cents 

Comedy character sketch for a singing quartette; 4 males. 
Time, 20 minutes. The rube station agent, the colored porter, 
the tramp and the stranger supply mirth and melody while wait- 
ing for the train "due tli' day before yistiddy." 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

623 S. Wabash Ave., CHICAGO 



I 



Safety First 



By SHELDON PARMER 

Price, 35 Cents 

^arce-comedy, in 3 acts; 5 males, 5 females. Time, 21/4 hours. 
Scenes: A parlor and a garden, easily arranged. A sprightly 
farce full of action and with a unique plot teeming witli unex- 
pected turns and twists that will malie the audience wonder "what 
on earth is coming next." Beliind the fun and movement lurks 
a great moral: Always tell the truth to your wife. The cast 
includes tliree young men, a funny policeman, a terrible Turk, 
two young ladies, a society matron, a Turkisli maiden and Mary 
O'Finnigan, the Irish cook. The antics of the terror-striclien 
husband, the policeman, the dude and the Irisli cook start the 
audience smiling at 8:15 and send them home with aching sides 
from the tornado of fun at 10:40. Suitable for performance any- 
where, but recommended for lodges, clubs and schools. Not a 
coarse or suggestive line in the play. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Jack's lil suburban home. A misplaced husband. "He 
kissed me good-bye at eighteen minutes after seven last night, 
and I haven't laid eyes on him since." The Irish maid is full 
of sympathy but she imagines a crime has been committed. 
Elmer, the college boy, drops in. And the terrible Turk drops 
out. "Sure the boss has eloped wid a Turkey!" Jerry and Jack 
come home after a horrible night. Explanations. "We joined the 
Shriners, I'm the Exalted Imported Woggle and Jack is the Ba- 
zook!" A detective on the trail. Warrants for John Doe, Richard 
Roe and Mary Moe. "We're on our way to Florida!" 

Act II. — A month later. Jack and Jerry reported drowned at 
sea. The Terrible Turk looking for Zuloika. The return of the 
prodigals. Ghosts! Some tall explanations are in order. "I never 
was drowned in all my life, was I, Jerry?" "We were lashed to 
a mast and we floated and floated and floated!" A couple of 
heroes. The Terrible Turk hunting for Jacli and Jerry. "A Turk 
never injures an insane man." Jack feigns insanity. "We are 
leaving this roof forever!" The end of a perfect day. 

Act III. — Mrs. Bridger's garden. Elmer and Zuleika start on 
their honeymoon. Mabel forgives Jacli, but her mamma does not. 
They decide to elope. Jerry's scheme works. The two McNutts. 
"Me middle name is George Washington, and I cannot tell a 
lie." The detective falls in the well. "It's his ghost!" Jack and 
Jerry preparing for the elopement. Mary Ann appears at the 
top of the ladder. A slight mistake. "It's a burglar, mum, I've 
got him!" The Terrible Turk finds his Zuleika. Happiness at last. 

Foiled, By Heck! 

By FREDERICK G. JOHNSON 

Price, 25 Cents 

A truly rural drama, in 1 scene and several dastardly acts; 
3 males, 3 females. Time, 35 minutes. Scene: The mortgaged 
home of the homespun drama, between sunup' and sundown. 
Characters: Reuben, a nearly self-made man. His wife, who 
did the rest. Their perfectly lovely daughter. Clarence, a rustic 
hero, by ginger! Olivia, the plaything of fate, poor girl. Syl- 
vester, with a viper's heart. Curses! Curses! Already he has 
the papers. A screaming travesty on tlie old-time "b'gosli" drama. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

6?^ «. Wabash Ave., CHIC AG J 



An Old Fashioned Mother 

By WALTER BEN HARE. 
Price, 35 Cents 
The dramatic parable of a mothor's love, in 3 acts; 6 males, 
6 females, also the village choir or (luartet and a group of silent 
villagers. Time, 2V4 liours. One scene: A sitting room. A play 
of rigliteousness as pure as a mother's kiss, but with a mora] 
that will be felt by all. Contains plenty of good, wholesome 
comedy and dramatic scenes that will interest any audience. 
Male Characters: The county sheriff; an old hypocrite: the selfish 
elder son; the prodigal >o';nger son; a tramp and a (omical coun- 
try boy. Female Characters: The mother (one of the greatest 
sympathetic roles ever written for amateurs); the \illage belle; 
the sentimental old maid; the good-hearted hired girl; a village 
gossip and a little girl of nine. Especially suited for church, 
Sunday school, lodge or school performance. 

SYNOPSIS. 

Act. I. — The Good Samaritan. Aunt Debby's farmhouse in late 
March. The Widder rehearses the village choir. Sukey in trouble 
with the old gra.v tabby cat. "She scratched me. I was puttin" 
flour on her face for powder, jest like you do!" Lowisy Custard 
reads Iier original poetry and .lerry Gosling drops in to see if 
there are to be any refreshments. "That's jest what maw says!" 
Liowisy and Jonah pass the fainting tramp by the wayside and 
Deborah I'ebukes them with the parable of the Good Samaritan. 
The tramp's story of downfall due to drink. "A poor piece of 
driftwood blown hither and thither by the rough winds of ad- 
versity." John, Deborah's youngest son, profits by the tramp's 
experience. "From this moment no diop of liquor shall ever pass 
my lips." Jolni arrested. "I am innocent, and when a man can 
face his God, he needn't be afraid to face the law!" 

Act II.— A Mother's Love. Same scene but three years later, 
a winter afternoon. "Colder'n blue and pin-pIe blazes and snowin' 
like si\ty." Jerry's engagement ring. "Is it a di'mond? Ef it 
ain't I'm skun out of twq shillin'." "I been sparkin' her fer 
nigh onto four years, Huldy Sourapple, big fat gal, lives over 
at Hookworm Crick." Deborah longs for news from John, the 
boy who was taken away. The Widder gossips. "I never seen 
sich a womerni" "You'd think she was a queen livin' in New 
York at the Walled-off Castoria." Lowisy is disappointed in 
Brother Guggs and decides to set her cap for Jonah. Deborah 
mortgages the old home for Charley and Isabel. The sleighing 
party. "Where is my wandering boy tonight?" The face at the 
window. Enoch and John. "I've lieen weak and foolish, a thing 
of scorn, laughed at. mocked at, an ex -convict with the shadow 
of the prison ever before me, but all that is passed. From now 
on, with the help of God, I am going to be a man!" 

Act III. — The Prodigal Son. Two years later. Deborah bids 
farewell to tlie old home before she goes over the hills to the 
poorhouse. "The little home wliere I've lived since John brought 
me home as a bride." The bitterest cup — a pauper. "It ain't 
right, it ain't fair." Gloriana and the baby. "There ain't nothin' 
left fer me, nothin' but the poorliouse." The sheriff comes to take 
Aunt Deb over tlie hills. "Your boy ain't dead. He's come back 
to you, rich and respected. He's here!" The return of the prod- 
igal son. Jerry get? excited and yells. "Glory Hallelujah!" The 
joy and happiness of Deborah. "Honor thy father and thy 
mother that thy days may be long in the land." 

TTs.DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

623 S. Wabash Ave., CHICAGO 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Caialoeue Free 



FARCES. COMEDIETAS. Etc. 
Price 2S Cents fe,ach 

M. r. 

All on a Summer's Day, 40 min. 4 6 
Aunt Harriet's Night Out, 35 

min 1 2 

Aunt Matilda's Birthday Party, 

35 min 11 

Billy's Chorus Girl, 30 min... 2 3 

■ Jioiioweil Luncheon, JO min.. 5 

I'oriowing Trouble, 20 min.. ... 3 5 
Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 

Class Ship, 35 min 3 8 

Divided Attentions, 35 min... 1 4 

Fun in Photo Gallery, 30 min.. 6 10 

Getting Rid of Father, 20 min. 3 1 

Goose Creek Line, 1 hr 3 10 

Great Pumpkin Case, 35 min.. 12 

Hans \'nn Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 

Honest Peggy, 25 min 8 

irisli Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 

Just Like a Woman, 35 min... 3 3 

Last Rehearsal, 25 min 2 3 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. lenkins' Brilliant Idea, 3.Sm. 8 

Mrs. -Stubblns' Book Agent, 30 m. 3 2 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Paper Wedding, 30 min 1 5 

Pat's Matrimonial " enture, 25 

min 1 2 

Patsy O' Wang, 35 min 4 3 

Uimnnage Sale, SO min 4 10 

Sewing for the Heathen, 40 

min 9 

Shadows, 35 min 3 4 

Sill}; a Song of Seniors, 30 min. 7 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 
Teacher Kin I Go Home, 35 

min 7 3 

Too I\Iuch of a Good Thing, 45 

min 3 6 

Two Ghosts in White. 20 min.. 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake. 20 min.. 3 2 

Wanted: a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 
Watch, a Wallet, and a Jack of 

Spades. 40 min 3 6 

Whole Truth. 40 min S 4 

Who's the Boss? 30 min. 3 6 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 

FARCES. COIMEDIETAS, Etc. 
Price 15 Cents Each 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 15 min 3 2 

r.ahy Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 
Before the Play Begins, 15 

min 2 1 

Billy's Mishaps, 20 min 2 3 

Country Justice, 15 min 8 

Cow that Kicked Chicago, 25 m. 3 2 

Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 

First-Class Hotel. 20 min 4 

For Love and Honor, 20 min . . 2 1 

Fudge and n Burglar. 15 min.. 5 



Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
Initiating a Ciraiiger, 25 min.. 8 

Kansas Immigiants, 20 min... 5 1 

Lottie Sees It Through, 35 min. 3 4 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 

Please Pass the Cream, 20 min. 1 1 

Second Childhood, 15 min.... 2 2 

Smith's Unluckv Day, 20 min.. 1 1 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 
Two Gentlemen in a Fix. 15 m. 2 

Wanted: A Hero, 20 min 1 I 

VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES 
Price 25 Cents Each 

Amateur, IS min 1 1 

At Harmony Junction, 20 min. 4 
Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. 1 1 

Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min,. 2 1 

Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Hey, Ruhe! 15 min 1 

It Might Happen, 20 min 1 1 

Little Miss Enemy, 15 min.... 1 1 
tittle Red Scliool 1 louse, 20 m. 4 
Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 
One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansen's nurl's Mnder, lOm. 1 
Quick Lunch Cabaret, 20 min.. 4 

iji and I, 15 min 1 

Special Sale, 15 min 2 

Street Faker, 15 min. 3 

Such Ignorance. 15 min 2 

Sunny Son of Ttalv, 15 min.. 1 

Time Table. 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the .Actress, 20 tnin. 1 1 
Troubles of Rozinski, IS min.. 1 
Two Jay Detectives, 15 _min.. 3 
Umbrella Mender, JS min.... 2 
Vait a Minute 2 

BLACK-FACE PLAYS 
Price 25 Cents Each 

Axin' Her Father, 25 min 2 3' 

Booster Club of Blackville, 25 

min 10 

Colored Honeymoon,- 25 min... 2 2 
Coon Creek Courtship, 15 m... 1 1 
Coontown Thirteen Clttb, 25 m.l4 
Darktovvn Fire Brigade, 25m.. 10 
Good Mornin' Judce, 35 min.. 9 2 

Hungry, 15 min 2 

Love and Lather, 3S_ min 3 2 

Memphis Mose, 25 min S 1 

Oh, Doctor! 30 min 6 2 

Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
What Happened to Hannah, 15 

min 1 1 

A great number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here are listed in 

Denison's Catalogue 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY^Publishers, 623 S.Wabaslfi Ave..Chfcaso 



1-1021 



POPULAR ENTERTAINMENT BOOKS 

Price, Illustrated Paper Covers, 3S cents each 




IX this Series 
are found 
books touching 
every feature 
in the enter- 
tainment field. 
Finely made, 
good paper, 
clear print and 
each book has 
an attractive 
individual cov- 
er design. 
rar^.ul List 

DIALOGUES 

All Sorts of Dialogues. 

Selected, fine for older pupils. 
Catchy Comic Dialogues. 

Very clever; for young people. 
Children's Comic Dialogues. 

From six to eleven years of age. 
Country School Dialogues. 

Brand new, original 
Dialogues for District Schools. 

For country schools. 
Dialogues from Dickens. 

Thirteen selections. 
Friday Afternoon Dialogues. 

Over 60,000 copies sold. 
From Tots to Teens. 

Dialogues and recitations. 
Humorous IHomespun Dialogues. 

For «jlder ones. 
Little People's Plays. 

From 7 to 13 years of age. 
Lively Dialogues. 

For all ages; mostly humorous. 
Merry Little Dialogues. 

Thirty-eight original selections. 
When the Lessons are Over. 

Dialogues, drills, plays. 
Wide Awake Dialogues. 

Original successful. 

SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES 

Choice Pieces for Little People. 

A child's speaker. 
The Cornic Entertainer. 

Recitations, monologues, dialogues. 
Dialect Readings. 

■ Irish, Dutch, Negro. Scotch, etc. 
The Favorite Speaker. 

Choice prose and poetry. 
The Friday Afternoon Speaker. 

For pupils of all ages. 
Humorous Monologues. 

Particularly for ladies. 
Monologues for Young Folks. 

Clever, humorous, original. 



Monologues Grave and Gay. 

Dramatic and humorous. 
Scrap- Book Recitations. 

Choice collections, pathetic, hu- 
morous, rlescriptive, prose, 
poetry. 13 Nos., per No. 35c 

DRILLS 

The Best Drill Book. 

Very popular drills and marches. 
The Favorite Book of Drills. 

Drills that sparkle with origfnality. 
Little Plays With Drills. 

For children from 6 to 11 years. 
The Surprise Drill Book. 

Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 

SPECIALTIES 

The Boys' Entertainer. 

Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
Children's Party Book. 

Invitations, decorations, games. 
The Christmas Entertainer. 

Novel and diversified. 
The Days We Celebrate. 

ICntertainmentb for all the holidays. 
Good Things for Christmas. 

Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
Good Things for Sunday Schools. 

Dialogues, exercises, recitations. 
Good Things for Thanksgiving. 

A gem of a book. 
Good Things for Washington 

and Lincoln Birthdays. 
Little ,Foll<s' Budget. 

Easy pieces to sjieak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 

New parlor diversions, socials. 
Patriotic Celebrations. 

Great variety of materia!. 
Pictured Readings and Tableaux. 

Entirely original features. 
Pranks and Pastimes. 

Parlor games for children. 
Shadow Pictures, Pantomlmb«, 

Charades, and how to prepare. 
Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 

New and novel; for all ages. 
Twinkling Fingers and Sway- 
ing Figures. For little tots. 
Yuletide Entertainments. 

A choice Christmas collection. 

MINSTRELS, JOKES 

The Black-Face Joker. 

Minstrels' and end men's gags. 
A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 

Monologues, stump speeches, etc. 
Laughland,via the Ha-Ha Route. 

A merry trip for fun tourists. 
Negro Minstrels, 

All about the business. 
The New Jolly Jester. 

Funny stories, jokes, gags, etc. 

Large Illustrated Catalogue Free 



T.S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 623 S. Wabash Ave. , Chicago 



